The search for internship has been going on for weeks, yet there is still no progress for me. It is quite frustrating, yet I guessed I had myself to blame too. I shall not touch on this too sensitive topic on this night. Since tomorrow is the long awaited respite from normal school, I shall not sleep too early today, though I had already slept and woken up at 10pm.

I am listening to this song "T-ara - Good person" and "阿妈的白头发". Both are emo and I am moved by the tunes. I am slowly sinking back to my shell; it holds a certain appeal to me, yet school and social obligation is kind of preventing me from immersion. What do I really want? It is time to really really sit down and think about it... Feel a bit envious, yet inspired by people who knew their goals and all... Glad to know that my friends are slowly paving their footsteps into society, slowly becoming successful, it just brings a smile out. =)

I finally succumbed to temptation.......

Dad is going to fly tomorrow night.. yet again. Months and months of absence and reappearance for 1-3 months and the cycle repeats itself for goodness knew how many years. I am kind of terrified, for the conversations just keep diminishing. I could only trust in "blood is always thicker than water." I hoped there would not be a time when there is no common topics other than studies (It feels like its getting there though). It certainly did not help that I feel that my dad is the kind who has the mindset that the guy in the family is the breadwinner and the kids are left to the mum, or is it a misjudgement? I do not know for I do not really know him well, perhaps due to the absences. I remembered the childhood times when the whole family went to fish, to prawn.. I could only have glimpses of it in rare times these few years... How I wished that we could all go back to those days.....