Had a mcdonald 9 piece mcnuggets meal... feel so sinful.. haha

M just came back and told us that his condition is not good.... I could not even imagine what he is going through now with all the different parts slowly dis-functioning. It must be really bad if he told Doc to just kill him with an injection.. I was startled.. and worried.. and seriously I do not know if it is a better thing to be alive with lots of pain every single moment, or to be dead instantly... I do not really know what to think now... It feels bad either way...

I feel guilty for thinking it, but sometimes, I could not help but feel, would it be better for him to just pass away without having to endure so much pain... I dont know if I should visit. I do not want to see him in such pain, yet I should visit.. But I still could not get that image of him in pain out of my mind..... In so much confusion and worry. M stressed hungry ghost festival would be here next week... and he is a tiger somemore... and tigers are not very good in this year... especially old people. More worries... Damn.