Felt so bad, since even myself think that my Flash portfolio sucks... seriously. When even I myself dont like it, it really says a lot... ah well, okay, I only like a few pages. Need to really revamp in the holidays if I got the time and still got the motivation.... =X

Honestly, hospitals really have the power to drain out all my energy, making me extremely tired after I left.... Everytime after a hospital trip these few weeks, I really feel a lot... I simply.. felt a myraid of indescribable feelings. It is all very complex.. Felt a bit bad cause had not been visiting for a whole week since all those assignments and stuff...

I experienced a weird encounter with myself today... So, the nurse turned him to another side since he could not be lying down at the same spot for too long... and after that, I think the position he is in is bad, perhaps affected his wound, and it feels super duper pain. He is a strong person who would not complain of pain unless it is really super pain.. as we can feel that he do not want to make us worried.

Thus, if he said its pain, it is really painful... and that is what happened, I can see and feel his pain from his actions, his expressions... and he kept moaning and stuff.... Seriously, just a small action like turning one's body, or just a small movement could cause such extreme pain... and I felt helpless as I do not really know what to do and could not do anything in case the situation worsen... leave it to the nurses?

I felt damn worried and damn painful for him and at this moment, yellow spots appeared in my vision and the noise in the background slowly fades off, and I felt giddy and stuff.... Am I in shock? It persisted for a few seconds I guessed, though it felt quite long for me... thus, I quickly grabbed a seat and closed my eyes and after a short while, felt okay again... Dont really want to feel this phenomenon again, it is scary.. especially when the sound fades off, it felt like I am really going deaf...

Even now, I could still feel the fear in that short moment and yea, the image of him in pain still stuck inside my mind. Felt so sad. Really feel like crying though I know that tears wont help, and I am NOT going to cry. Perhaps that is why part of me does not really want to go to hospital... Hospitals are really not nice at all.... (Its all in the perspective actually lol, but in a way, I kind of like the smell of the first floor =X) Oh well, really hope for the diabetes in him to stay dormant and let his wound heal speedily. He would have a lot a lot of agonies and a very hard time ahead... Really hope that he would stay strong.

Health is really important. I think I am so going to buy a pair of bedroom slippers to protect my feet or something.... and I am going to eat more apples... seriously. Felt it to my bones.