Sometimes I just feel that I am a sucky person. Felt so bad for acting so bad against family members. Seriously, I do not feel close to the siblings and even the palmist ask if I have a sibling only, or am the only child. And when I say I have a brother and sister, he said that then it means that I am not close to them. Even the lines of my palm portrayed this. I wonder and wonder, why am I born into this family? Perhaps if I am not born, they would be happier...

If the child before me had not disappeared from my mom's womb, then I may not even exist. Circumstances made it so. I wonder what I actually am born for... Sighs. Is my attitude really that bad? I think it is.. hmm. Self loathing as I knew that the actions and speeches and arguments will surely repeat themselves... I am closing myself off more and more.