I realised humans make things much more complicated by thinking too much... like, what if later becomes awkward? what if nothing to talk about? what if they do not like me as much as before? So many what ifs and the barriers are erected. After the barriers are erected, defensive mechanism set into place, the distance between will only grew apart... Friendship should not be like this, isnt it?

Thinking too much can be a double edged sword. I should really find something meaningful to do in my life and has a healthy lifestyle. I have started eating vegetables, though only a few strands, but at least its a start. Water too. Drink a bit maybe twice a week. I shall soon start to exercise... After seeing death and suffering, it makes me want to cherish my body more. Really grateful to my body for withstanding till now without giving me any problems, for putting up with my stubborness. I want to treat my body better... Thank you, my body.

One of my next aim would be to watch movie alone one of these days. Independence is hard to achieve? Perhaps, but Im heading towards it. Just do as you desire, do not need to care about other strangers' opinions...

I am so glad that after todae, october is finally over. It has been a bad month for me and I hope that November will be better. Looking forward to a change out of this demoralising and sad oct atmosphere....