I dreamt a dream... relatives visiting my bro in hospital? and gosh.. grandfather is there... visiting him too.. time flies...longing wun bring him back..

Just told grandpa the joyous news when I was offering joss sticks to the ancestors... Haha. Sad that he wun be able to be there to attend next year... =( and he wun get to see me turn 21 this year... Dreaming of him just brought back all the memories and regrets...

I think my emotions are running amok these few days... Maybe cause there is no INDS to rush anymore.. suddenly.. feel up n down about socializing.. Could feel happy and oh so fun... and yet tired and left out in the next moment...

When I see my friend's tumblr, I wonder what can I do to help? How can I cheer her up? It is so hard for her to move on... A lot of thoughts just running through... Damn. Feel so helpless...

Recharging at home doesnt really work well.... Tired yet bored yet unable to socialize for long... Where does that left me? Aimless sucks...

Disappointed... its suppose to be a two year thing and at that time.. we all say yes... Now? PSKs.... most of them. I guess we just go on our own and I will stop believing in these two years later, or one year later or when we are aged sth sth plans... These are all lies... I shall only believe in myself and just go and do it. SO many ppl, all talk only.. though I must admit.. sometimes I am like that too..

Goal to self - Try to not fall into the 'all talk only' category...