I think... my socializing skills are getting worse... Now.. Most of the sentences that I said is either mean, or sarcastic, or just plain joking around... Feel like there is no substance at all..

All for the sake of .......... at what cost? I am having severe party blues and hectic schedules blues.... Getting depressed/ emo... for the sake of.. what? Questioning myself if that' s the right choice or am I just making more trouble for myself? Feeling.. so.. empty.... Thinking... so... hard... And its all mundane, simple stuff.....

And my simple dream just crashed..... just to lie down in the countryside overseas, staring at the stars above me... on my 21st birthday... a dream... gone. Perhaps it could be a 22nd birthday wish.... and it gets so damn depressing..... ='( So... sad.